Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Nov 152009

I have so many stories and ideas for posts that I feel like I could blog for about 3 months non-stop.  This is a good thing because it (supposedly) means that I won’t run out of things to blog about.   Currently I have three drafts started:

  1. I have a post started on probably one of the most common questions people have regarding “the lifestyle.”  That would be the question of STIs.
  2. We went to a swingers gathering last night, so I have a post about that as well.
  3. I am also starting a page which discusses my playmate philosophy.

Those posts will have to remain unfinished right now, because I need to blog/journal about a certain guy and my responses to him.  MrTallBaldnHandsome and I first began corresponding a little less than a year ago.  He and his girlfriend were listed on Lifestyle Lounge’s booty call list on a Friday night looking to meet a couple for some drinks.   We thought they were cute, so we sent them a reply giving our (my) cell phone number.   He texted me, and the two of us texted back and forth several times throughout the afternoon trying to set something up for that night.  There already seemed to be some kind of chemistry there between the two of us.  As it turned out, a meeting for that night wasn’t going to work out for them after all.  No biggie.   Soon after, some things changed with their profile, so we just moved on and didn’t think anything of it.

A few months later, I met his girlfriend at a bar and somehow got to talking about what a hottie her boyfriend (MrTallBaldnHandsome) was.  She seemed pleased and told me that I should definitely email him.  Well no need to, because he emailed me by the next morning.  He and I began a little bit of texting back and forth and it seemed like there was some very nice chemistry happening (again).  Within a day or two, we were texting quite a bit and getting to know each other.  My husband was leaving town for the weekend, so I met the couple for dinner one night and the three of us went to a bar meet.

Long story short, he and I hit it off and enjoyed texting on pretty much a daily basis for a while.  We got together a couple times for some playtime and it was really fun.  We were compatible sexually and enjoyed talking/cuddling together.  There were probably some issues then, but I guess I was able to ignore them or work around them.   Lately though, this guy is driving me bonkers with the way he deals with me.  I don’t know what’s going on with him, his relationship with his girlfriend, or whatever, but I must stop contacting him!

Here is the most recent example, which is pretty typical of the way our text exchanges have been going lately.  On Wednesday night I get a text asking what I’m up to and when I respond (about an hour after the inital text), he asks if I want to get a hotel room with him that night.   It’s not really a very convenient night for me (especially since I had just played with MrBadBoy that morning), but I checked in with my hubby anyway.  After talking it over with my hubby, I told MrTallBaldnHandsome that I would love to see him, engage in some kissing and cuddling (his word, not mine), but probably wouldn’t be in the mood for sex.  There were a couple reasons for this:  #1) I had just had an intensely satisfying playdate that morning, #2) My last playdate with MrTallBaldnHandsome wasn’t that thrilling.  #3) I was wanting to actually TALK to the dude and figure out why our im and text messaging patterns had changed so dramatically as of late.

He (of course) said that would be fine, he always says it doesn’t matter if we have sex.  He is supposedly happy just cuddling (again, his word, not mine.)  He then suggested that we meet at a hotel in a suburb WAY closer to his place than mine.  (We live about an hour apart.)   When I suggested something a bit more halfway, he balked and said it wouldn’t give us enough time.  “Let’s wait until the weekend when I will be home alone and have a bunch of free time.”  Great, I said!  Make some plans for us.  Friday night would be great.

The following night (Thursday), he texts me again asking if I want to come have a drink with him in a suburb that is even further away than the one he lives in!  I was on my way out with my hubby, and gave MrTallBaldnHandsome a taste of his own medicine by asking if he wanted to drive down, pick me up, and take me to my car.  Yeah, it was an obnoxious request, but so was asking me to drive all the fuck the way up to where he was “alone watching the game.”  In any case, we decided against hooking up on Thursday and again, I mentioned that my Friday night was free.  At this point he tells me that he’s not sure about Friday because he might be going out of town.  Fine, no problem.  Just keep me posted, I tell him.

Friday.  I was online Friday afternoon and sent him an IM which got no response (other than him immediately logging out).  By about 5:30 on Friday, I still hadn’t heard from him, so I sent him a quick text asking what’s up for the night.  “Are you going out of town or not?”  NO RESPONSE!  ZERO!  NOTHING.

Saturday. Nothing.

Sunday. Nothing.

What the fuck?  Really?  I mean if you don’t want to go out, fine, just say so.  If you were super horny on Wednesday, but just aren’t anymore, fine, just say so.  Don’t, however, just ignore me and then expect me to be at your beck and call the next time you need to get your rocks off.  I’m not here to be some silly girl needing constant attention, but I also don’t appreciate being ignored when we have potential plans.  If you need or want to cancel, FINE!  I’m not gonna freak out.  It’s when you just completely disregard the fact that we talked about getting together.

The worst part is, this isn’t the first time he’s done this to me!  One other time, I did give him a pretty good piece of my mind, and he got really nice and attentive for a while after that, but here we are again.  It really bothers me that I have somehow given him the impression that I am still interested in fucking someone who leads me on and ignores me.   I’m like super into him.  He’s sweet, sexy, quiet, and has a killer smile.  He smells good and has really nice arms.  But all these things are blinding me to several issues I have with him.  The stuff I’ve already typed, but also stuff like telling me I should act in a certain way when I’m out in public or telling me that he wants me to be more clean shaven (I keep a pretty nice welcome mat).  It’s time to just cut it out.  There are plenty of fish in the sea who don’t live over an hour away, who know how to be at least somewhat polite, who don’t have some sort of expectation that I will be available to come to them whereever the fuck they might be.

I haven’t yet had the guts to do it, but I really think I need to just remove him from my phone and my IM so that I can’t initiate contact.  Then if he contacts me, just let it go unanswered.  Until or unless he asks me what’s wrong or if I am upset or something.  (See how I am?  Already trying to find a way around the communication moratorium.)

Well I suppose we’ll see what happens.  Try to determine if I am strong/smart enough to move on.  It’s crazy, I tell ya!  And to think, I’m a pretty low key gal as far as this stuff seems to go.

  2 Responses to “Why I Need to Not Answer This Guy’s Messages”

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    HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is the virus that causes AIDS. This virus may be passed from one person to another when infected blood, semen, or vaginal secretions come in contact with an uninfected person’s broken skin or mucous membranes. In addition, infected pregnant women can pass HIV to their baby during pregnancy or delivery, as well as through breast-feeding. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Some of these people will develop AIDS as a result of their HIV infection. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. Acquired – means that the disease is not hereditary but develops after birth from contact with a disease causing agent (in this case, HIV). Immunodeficiency – means that the disease is characterized by a weakening of the immune system. Syndrome – refers to a group of symptoms that collectively indicate or characterize a disease. In the case of AIDS this can include the development of certain infections and/or cancers, as well as a decrease in the number of certain cells in a person’s immune system. A diagnosis of AIDS is made by a physician using specific clinical or laboratory standards. THEREFORE AIDS IS NOT SPREAD, HIV IS. THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT ILLNESSES.

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