Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Swinging FAQ: How Often Should We Play?

 Posted by on 25 January 2012
Jan 252012
 

I’ve been enjoying Life on the Swingset for the last several months.  The site’s very clever tagline reads “Life Less Monotonous.  Life Less Monogamous.”   I really wish I would have thought of that!  The site is run by Cooper Becket who is also a contributor over at SexisFun.net. Both sites inspire me to expand my vision for this blog!

I’ve been devouring their blogs and articles, with plans to listen to the pod-casts as soon as possible.  (Participating in a pod-cast is on my list to accomplish in 2012.)  I also finally took some time tonight and registered to post on the forums at Life on the Swingset.

I was inspired to respond to a post from a new couple wondering how often people usually get together to play.  I had posted about our own approach to this question back in 2009.   My response today was this:

… I think there are two parts to the frequency question.  First one is, how much time do you and your partner have to engage in this hobby?  There are a lot of things to consider.  How much do you work?  Do you have kids?  Will you be going out together or separately.  I think a lot of couples are excited when they first start out and find themselves going out night after night.  It’s so much fun and can be very exhilarating to go through the ritual of ramping-up your sex appeal and getting your flirt on.  But what happens to your family, your house, your private relationship, and your life balance when you go out 4 nights in a row to meet potential new playmates?

The second part of the frequency question has to do with how frequently do you hook up with the “same” playmates.  Does it start to get weird if you’re seeing the same couple every Friday night?  Do they start to feel like they own you, or do you feel like you can’t break the plans if you want to meet someone else?  My husband and I play separately (as well as together), and I find that I prefer to have 3 or 4 men that I am seeing at any given time, simply to avoid getting too serious about any one guy in particular.  I may want to play about 2-4 times a month, but seeing the same person that often may turn into something deeper or more intense than I am interested in pursuing.

So ultimately, this is a personal decision and you might find that you need to re-calibrate your frequency comfort level every so often.

You should visit the forums at Life on the Swingset and share your own thoughts.  Or feel free to drop a comment here, if you prefer.

  2 Responses to “Swinging FAQ: How Often Should We Play?”

Comments (2)
  1.  

    For us it cums in spurts (double-entendre completely intended). We have had weeks where we played every week for 8 weeks in a row, one week during that great streak we played 3 times with 3 different couples. Other times we have gone 4-6 weeks without playing. It all depends on vanilla life events going on, kids, work, and, more than a non-swinger might realize, scheduling. We’ve found coordinating schedules can be the hardest part of setting up play dates. We have no shortage of people we want to fuck & that want to fuck us, the hard part is often setting up a time when we can get together.

  2.  

    It’s so true about the scheduling. It’s one of the main reasons that we find ourselves playing separately so often. It’s just easier.

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