I’ve been enjoying Life on the Swingset for the last several months. The site’s very clever tagline reads “Life Less Monotonous. Life Less Monogamous.” I really wish I would have thought of that! The site is run by Cooper Becket who is also a contributor over at SexisFun.net. Both sites inspire me to expand my vision for this blog!
I’ve been devouring their blogs and articles, with plans to listen to the pod-casts as soon as possible. (Participating in a pod-cast is on my list to accomplish in 2012.) I also finally took some time tonight and registered to post on the forums at Life on the Swingset.
I was inspired to respond to a post from a new couple wondering how often people usually get together to play. I had posted about our own approach to this question back in 2009. My response today was this:
… I think there are two parts to the frequency question. First one is, how much time do you and your partner have to engage in this hobby? There are a lot of things to consider. How much do you work? Do you have kids? Will you be going out together or separately. I think a lot of couples are excited when they first start out and find themselves going out night after night. It’s so much fun and can be very exhilarating to go through the ritual of ramping-up your sex appeal and getting your flirt on. But what happens to your family, your house, your private relationship, and your life balance when you go out 4 nights in a row to meet potential new playmates?
The second part of the frequency question has to do with how frequently do you hook up with the “same” playmates. Does it start to get weird if you’re seeing the same couple every Friday night? Do they start to feel like they own you, or do you feel like you can’t break the plans if you want to meet someone else? My husband and I play separately (as well as together), and I find that I prefer to have 3 or 4 men that I am seeing at any given time, simply to avoid getting too serious about any one guy in particular. I may want to play about 2-4 times a month, but seeing the same person that often may turn into something deeper or more intense than I am interested in pursuing.
So ultimately, this is a personal decision and you might find that you need to re-calibrate your frequency comfort level every so often.
You should visit the forums at Life on the Swingset and share your own thoughts. Or feel free to drop a comment here, if you prefer.