Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Jan 022013

Happy New Year!   January 1st is one of my favorite days of the year.  I never make plans, and rarely end up leaving the house.  It’s just my day to be home, relax, and consider all the wonderful blessings of the previous year along with the possibilities of the upcoming year.

Last year I posted New Year’s Resolutions for Swingers and Lifestyle Couples and linked to it again this year @SabrinaSwings. The ideas are timeless, so if you are looking for ways to improve the quality of your lifestyle interactions this year, I’d strongly suggest my 2012 New Year’s post.

This year, I’d like to focus on more personal New Year’s Resolutions that aren’t necessarily relationship based.  This stems from a general lack of interest or shift in the way I have been participating (or more accurately, not participating) in the lifestyle over the last several months.  If you want to take charge of your sexuality this year, maybe some of my Sexy Swinger New Year’s Resolutions will inspire you for 2013.

1. Don’t Wait for a Lifestyle Event to Pamper Yourself

I resolve to spend more time this year pampering myself.  I deserve to feel sexy every day, not just when getting ready to go out to a party or on a date.  What if each night before I went to bed, I made sure that every part of me was soft, smooth, and smelling lovely?  I imagine my husband and I would have more sex, or at the very least spend more time kissing and cuddling before falling asleep.  I’d wake up feeling sexier, and I’d feel more ready to act on spontaneous invitations to meet others.  Stopping to meet a new couple after work would be a super fun way to start getting ourselves out there a bit more, but not if I’m worried about unshaven legs or heels that are rough around the edges.  Even typing on my computer at work would be more fun with pretty painted fingernails.  Everyday sex appeal makes the next resolution so much easier.

2. Flirting is Important

Flirting isn’t something that should be confined to those with whom you want to eventually get naked.  Flirting is a way to engage everyone around you.  The art of true flirtation is rare, but can improve the quality of your life by attracting new friends and relationships into your life.  This year I resolve to be more flirtatious in my day to day life.  Not just with men, but with everyone!  Social interactions are an opportunity to engage with other humans on an emotional level that is sometimes lost in our technology driven lives of smart phones, ipads, and Twitter.  Non-sexually charged flirtation might include any of the following:  looking someone in the eye when you meet them, flashing a smile as you pass by someone on the street, offering a sincere compliment, reaching out with a lingering physical touch to the arm or shoulder, ever-so-slightly invading someone’s personal space in an elevator, on the bus, or at work.

3. Sexy Lingerie Isn’t Just for Saturday

Sexy bras and panties are meant to be seen, but that doesn’t mean you should save them only for special occasions.  This year I resolve to start tossing my faded, stained, stretched out cotton panties and replacing them with something that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to show off.  The fantasy most people have of swingers is that we are always ready to have sex with whoever we happen to meet.  Although real-life swingers know that isn’t necessarily true, wearing sexy panties under your everyday clothes can help keep your mind in the gutter, increasing your libido, flirtatiousness, and the liklihood that you’ll feel sexy enough to take advantage of any last minute, spontaneous opportunities.

4. Attend to Your Inner Beauty

Beauty starts on the inside.  Eating right, drinking water, exercise, and sleep!  I’m often scrimping on at least one of these essential components in any given week.  Healthy people look better and feel better!  Feeling great translates to better sex 100% of the time!

5. Participate More (Online Swinger Communities)

When we officially re-entered the world of swinging in 2008, we joined Lifestyle Lounge.  We were very lucky to find such a great site so early in our adventures.  I was very active in the forums, posting new photos, updating our status, and blogging.  When we’d go to events, people recognized us from our profile.  It made meeting new friends a little easier, and we were always finding new potential playmates to lust after.  Just about a month or so ago, I decided to give Kasidie a try.  I was immediately thrilled with the warm welcome given to us by Nicoleta and Scott.  Although the site isn’t extremely active in my area, I’m excited to become more actively involved in their community and invite our friends to join us. If you aren’t already an active, contributing member of an online Lifestyle community, I strongly recommend you make this part of your 2013  plan for personal improvement.

6. Live Life to the Fullest

Life is too short to spend it doing anything other than loving yourself, your life, and others.  I resolve this year to wake up each morning excited about the possibilities.  When opportunities present themselves, I will jump in with an adventurous spirit.  I’m almost 40 years old now (shhhhhh) – I know who I am.  I love myself, I know my husband loves me, and I want to expand that love to include our family, friends, and lovers.  I don’t need to know the destination to enjoy the journey.  I will not let self-doubt or insecurities keep me from enjoying all the pleasures life has to offer – sexual, intellectual, and sensual (taste, touch, smell, sight, sound).

More New Year’s Inspiration and Fun:

Sabrina’s 2012 New Year’s Resolution Post:  New Year’s Resolutions for Swingers and Lifestyle Couples

2011 – I didn’t post anything on New Year’s Day in 2011.  I was taking a break from blogging and a semi-break from swinging at the time because apparently I Forgot How to Flirt

In 2010, I posted this little funny about how to Compromise for a Happy Marriage – Compromise and being able to state your desires is a huge component of navigating a successful non-monogamous marriage.  The post here isn’t a serious guide, but it gives insight into how my husband and I keep the playfulness alive in our relationship.

  5 Responses to “Six Sexy Swinging New Year’s Resolutions by SabrinaSwings”

Comments (5)

    Awesome list! I agree on all of those points. The one that I’m going to own is just being more flirty this year. It’s easy for me to flirt at lifestyle events. On a regular basis I’m good at making eye contact and saying hello, but I’ve noticed that I could definitely be a little more flirty/friendly with those around me – making the most of every opportunity.



      Thank you for the comment. I think it’s important to embrace flirtatiousness not just with people of the opposite sex who we find sexy, but just in general. Making people smile by letting them know we notice them and appreciate sharing the Earth with them. Friendly, flirty, engaging — in all our interactions. 🙂 Here’s to 2013!


    Your 3/4 the way thru the year how have you held up to your New Years resolutions?


    Hi Rob,

    Thank you for the comment, reminding me to take a look at these resolutions again. I’ve been really focusing on #4 and #6 over the last few months. I was doing really well on #1 for a while, but over the summer, it seems as though I’ve reduced to the bare minimum as far as beautifying myself goes. The others, I must admit never got much traction. It may be time to toss some of my old panties and replace them with some new matching sets!!


    Hi Sabrina,

    We have just recently decided to come up with our swinging resolutions for 2015 so it was interesting to read your ideas. We definitely could do with flirting more, we don’t do enough of that. We should also participate in swinger forums and blogs more as well. Hoping you have a fun and sexy 2015!


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