Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Swinging Advice for the Single Guy

 Posted by on 11 May 2014
May 112014

Today I’m answering one of the most common questions I get asked via email!!  How does the single guy break into swinging?


Hi Sabrina!   I am SO happy that I stumbled onto your blog.  You are providing such a great service that even beginners like me can appreciate it.  I have some questions for you, and I hope I’m not too wordy in my background explanation.

Here goes…

I’m a single male 45 years old.   I’ve been curious about swinging for years.  I was married to someone who had no interest and who had forbidden it.  Now that I’m divorced and my own boss again : ) I’d like to take a step or two and see if it’s for me.

I’ve done some internet research and it seems that a single male would have a hard time breaking in.  Many clubs/groups prefer or require couples and single females only.  I totally understand why this is, but there has to be room for me somewhere, right?   How does a single guy get invited to an event?

I think I would be a perfect candidate.  I’m open minded, non-judgmental.  I think I would make a great third to a couple because I’m non threatening and humble, and sensitive to the feelings of those around me.  I would love to get my foot in the door to see if it’s everything I’ve imagined it would be.  I just don’t have a clue how to find it.  I’m tempted to use Craigslist but I’m afraid of being set up or scammed.  Any pointers Sabrina?

THANK YOU in advance for your help and for all that you do!


Thank you for your question.  It’s a very common one!

While many larger hotel parties and events do limit the number of single men that attend, it is possible to become one of the select few who make the list.  Typically these are men who are are already known by a couple in the lifestyle or have been around a while and are well-liked.

Sounds like the old adage:  You need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience.   Don’t be frustrated!!

There are sites you can join that will allow you to find casual meet-and-greet events where you can get to know people on a non-sexual level.  That is your opportunity to make a good impression.  Don’t assume you’re going to get laid right away.  Make friends at these public events.  Be respectful.  Be interesting.  Be sexy.  Be flirtatious.  That is the way for a single man to get noticed in the lifestyle and become one of the sought after studs that many of us girls are looking for.

I would suggest joining Lifestyle Lounge to start.  It is one of the largest sites available, and while it does charge a fee, it’s very active in MN and many events and casual meet and greets are posted there.  If you decide to join, please use this link for two reasons:  #1) You’ll get a two week free trial and #2) I will receive affiliate credit if you purchase a paid membership.  I recommend the annual membership.  It works out to less than $16 a month and gives you a good opportunity to meet people and make that impression over a longer period of time.  Lifestyle Lounge.

Here are a few more posts on finding swingers through online sites:

Cheaper Than a Cup of Coffee – also  has tips specifically for the single man

Finding Swingers Online – For Free??

  One Response to “Swinging Advice for the Single Guy”

Comments (1)

    a lot of single males in the LS are bisexual. If you are, a lot of couples will be interested

 Leave a Reply