Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

May 062013

This content was originally published on the Kasidie blog at Kasidie.com.  A few months ago, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting the wonderfully sexy Emily and Sergio, who are now the face of Kasidie!  They are passionate about the Kasidie community, as they well should be.  It’s a wonderful site with great features.  It’s one of the two main sites I recommend when people ask me where to find swingers online.


Cheaper than a Cup of Coffee

Hello out there. If you are a couple who wants to expand your marriage to include some sexy times with other couples. I’d love to invite you in! The water is great.

We are a happily married couple who have been active in swinging and the lifestyle community to varying degrees throughout our 20 year marriage.  We started out when we were newlyweds by inviting single friends of ours to engage in some sexy fun with us. I remember always feeling incredibly turned on when I would watch, or even think about, my husband with his hands and mouth exploring another woman. One weekend we decided to attend a local swingers club, but we were so nervous that we couldn’t relax and we left quite suddenly early in the evening after a couple recognized us from my schoolgirl days. Later, we started looking for more ways to meet couples to enjoy. This was the early 90’s and we checked out magazines like Midwest Connection that contained classified ads of couples and singles looking to add some sexual adventure to their lives. We answered a few ads, but with the double blind post-box snail mail system, we never actually met anyone.  Thank goodness the internet came along a couple years later!!

If you’ve been searching and browsing online for partners and find that you aren’t getting a good return on your investment, I’d love to share some of the online secrets that my husband and I have learned in 20+ years of doing our homework on this topic.  Not only have we had an incredible amount of sexually charged flirtation in that time, we’ve actually managed to find other couples and singles to enjoy every kind of connection you can imagine. How did we do it? We finally bit the bullet and decided to join an online swinger community.  How did we decide which one to join?  Well frankly, we joined them all, but we quickly learned that all sites are not created equal.  Even though we tend to think that online social networking should be free, (Thank you, Twitter and Facebook!), the Lifestyle is a unique situation.  In this arena, we have found that you tend to get what you pay for. Free or inexpensive sites are often less active, less secure, and just a lot less fun than some of the sites that cost a bit more to join.  We are less likely to post photos on sites that don’t have a membership fee because it’s simply too easy for the curious or malicious to sign up, log-on, and check us out with absolutely no intention of actually participating in the lifestyle.  Here’s how the cycle works:  Free sites often have fewer pictures per profile, which makes it harder to find what you are looking for.  Because of this, we rarely log into those sites since we don’t get a good return on our investment (of time).  When couples aren’t logging in to a site, it becomes a ghost town and the lack of participation causes even more lack of participation.  I logged into a site recently and was told that there was (1) person online.  Not worth my time.  My husband and I belong to two great sites and they each cost us only about $15/month. How much do you pay for cable television?? More than $30 a month? When is the last time your cable television invited you to a fun weekend party with 100 sexy couples ready to flirt and play? When is the last time you could browse your cable television channels and connect in live time with couples that you find interesting, sexy, and intelligent?

Free sites can be a great resource for information and advice, but if you are serious about meeting couples online who are actively seeking playmates, being in the know about local parties and events, and having at least some level of privacy protection, why not spend $1 a day to have access to the most active, best designed, fully featured websites you can find?

What do you do once you’ve joined an online swinger community?  I encourage you to jump in with both feet! Explore extensively!  Utilized every possible benefit the site provides.  Fill out your profile information completely, accurately, and honestly.  Post some photos of yourselves.  Some couples choose to blur their faces, others choose to avoid nudity.  I think both are acceptable, but think about how you browse photos and make sure that you aren’t being too stingy with what you put out there.  Send messages to some local people who you find interesting.  Interact on the site’s forums and chatrooms.  Go to an event, set up a date or two.  You only get out of a site what you put into it, so don’t be shy!  You can always remove information later if you decide the lifestyle isn’t for you, but without being fully interactive, you’ll never get the opportunity to find out.

If you are a single man, please read this!!! 

If you decide to join an online swinger community, don’t expect that you’ll instantly have a bevy of babes knocking on your door for nsa sex.  You’ll need to be patient.  Follow the same advice above for couples, but plan to spend even more time becoming a trusted member of both the online community, but also your local community.  Go out, meet people, and plan to attend at least 10 events without any expectation of getting laid.  You might get lucky sooner, but if you give off any sort of vibe indicating desperation or expectation, you vastly reduce your liklihood of getting lucky.  Post photos, lots of them, and include ones that make you look like you actually have a normal life outside of the Lifestyle.  It’s acceptable to include a cock photo or two, but if that’s all you post, get ready to spend a lot of time wondering why nobody emails you.  The #1 most common question I get in the lifestyle is this: How can a single man get any action? The #1 way for you to become an active member of your local swinging community is to be well-known as a decent, honest, intelligent, sexy single guy. Being an active member of an online community and treating the members of that community with respect will get your foot in the door. Notice I said “foot in the door” not “cock in the you-know-what”. That will come MUCH MUCH later. First you need to let people get to know you, slowly. Many couples won’t even consider a single guy who isn’t a full-fledged paid member of their online community. Does that seem elitist? Well guess what? It’s not. These couples are sharing themselves and their precious parts with you. They want to know that you are safe and respectful, that you aren’t just there to get some easy pussy.  You need to let them see your photos, read your profile, and meet you at events.  Build up a friendship/relationship over time. Don’t just assume you’re going to join a site and get laid the next night. It very very rarely works that way!

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