Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Open Sexuality and Human Experience

 Posted by on 13 August 2010
Aug 132010
 

I have been giving a ton of thought to this blog and where it’s going.  My husband and I went out for an appetizer last night and I was questioning the purpose of this site/blog.  Certainly, the stories can be fun and titillating, but isn’t there a deeper purpose?  Does there need to be?

I have a strong belief that art of any kind exists to share human experience.  Blogging is an art and should exist for more than just the vanity of the artist/blogger.  What I am trying to avoid is the blog that says: “Here is my life.  You should be interested.”  If I don’t have anything to say, then I really have no business blogging.  So what is it I’m trying to say?  Why do I feel compelled to write, blog, share?  What is it that is inside me trying to get out?

In an attempt to tease this out a bit, I began asking my husband questions while we were eating our chips and salsa.  I think I actually freaked him out a bit.  It seemed like he had no idea why I was asking him all these questions to which he had no answers.  And when he tried to answer, I just quickly added another question, probing deeper and deeper looking for the answer that would strike a nerve with me.

Why are we swingers? Because it can be fun.  Why am I blogging about swinging?  So people can read about our swinging.  Why should they read about it?  So they know that normal people can be swingers.  Why do they need to know that?  Ummm…..What do I have to offer people? Why should they read?  Because we have a happy marriage and that’s sometimes rare.  Is our marriage happy because we swing? No. Are we swingers because we have a happy marriage? Maybe.  What if we stop swinging? We’ll still be happy.  Then what happens to the blog?  Do I have insight on sex outside of swinging? Yes.

And boom! It hit me.  I found what it is about this blog that inspires me.  I want to open sexuality up for people.  Our sexuality is something we are all born with and all die with.  It is lasting and unique and individual.  Every single person has a sexual self.  Some have sex with one other person.  Some have sex with lots of other people.  Some only have sex with themselves.  Even those who are celibate, whether by choice or circumstance, have a sexual experience that is partly defined by the absence of sexual activity.  There are countless expressions of human sexuality.  It is so beyond male vs. female and monogamy vs. non monogamy.  I want this blog to be a space where sexuality is opened up for exploration, conversation, introspection.  Currently, my sexual experience happens to include swinging within the realm of a very happy, long term marriage, but it hasn’t always been expressed this way and it may not always be.   Who knows?  But I don’t want this blog to stop when/if my husband and I ever stop swinging. My sexuality is an intensely dynamic part of my existence.  I have always been very aware of the electricity which exists in the space between and among the genders.  I want to explore how sexuality informs human existence across time and space.

And that, my dear readers, is what I strive to do here.  You with me??

  13 Responses to “Open Sexuality and Human Experience”

Comments (11) Pingbacks (2)
  1.  

    I suppose if the blog was less well written and less interesting, none of the questions would matter. Since you do write so well and articulate such interesting experiences and thoughts, I can see your blog going on for a long time with a devoted following.

    I’m still vanilla, just gathering information and planning the way forward with my wife. For me, this means taking our great relationship and making it better – through complete honesty and deeper communication. I’m going to let her know things I have (and am) uncomfortable talking about. That’s in no small part due to the Lifestyle Tenets I keep reading about. I’m having a catharsis and it’s a refreshing experience. I hope the growth continues. Thank you for blogging.

  2.  

    Hello again WWW,
    How long have you and your wife been married? And have the two of you had any conversation toward this topic whatsoever at this point? Fantasizing in bed or anything like that?

  3.  

    We’ve been married 17 years. No, we haven’t had any discussion along these lines at all. We haven’t been very good at certain communication – intimate fantasies, etc. Both of us are guilty of holding back. But, we’re solid and I think the thing to do is, as you said in the other comment, take it slow. First, last and in between we’ll communicate much more and much better. She’ll buy into that. Then we’ll take baby steps towards spicing things up. And variety is the spice of life, right?

    I’m very impressed at the tone and level of discourse across the various sites, forums and blogs. Slow, safe, respectful, and she’s in charge each step of the way. Sounds like a great plan to me. If we don’t swing? That’s fine, too. But we’re going to push ahead on all fronts and take the great relationship I have with this wonderful woman and make it better, more fun and more fulfilling for us both.

  4.  

    We all have different reasons for creating our blogs, Sabrina, and I think you’ve done an excellent job of breaking down the thought process behind yours. I can only tell you why I check this blog on a daily basis: you write about things that I can relate to, in a way that is strangely comforting.

    My blog was created and written for more selfish reasons: I simply wanted to record our journey into this “lifestyle” for posterity’s sake, and give us something to laugh about and remember when we’re old and gray. The fact that we opened this journal for anyone in the world to see is nothing but naked exhibitionism.

    As an outsider looking in, I appreciate what you do, and how you do it. I enjoy hearing your thoughts outside of the bedroom as much as I enjoy reading about your bedroom adventures. (And for a horny guy like me, that’s really saying something!)

    P.S. — Love the fancy new site design!

  5.  

    Thank you for your comment, Joe. It’s really great to know that you find this blog a place that you want to visit daily.

    I need some major site re-design! In a big way! LOL But I do like this template a bit better.

  6.  

    I would say that there doesn’t ever really need to be any particular purpose for writing your blog, but in simply pondering that topic I think you may have pretty much defined what (or at least a major part of) the reason is for you.

    I definitely agree that art exists to communicate and share human experience and perspective. At the core of this is the fact that at some level or another we are all explorers, and the symbiosis that exists between artist and audience is really just an expression and effect of that inner drive. At the most basic level the artist is exploring some aspect of inner self, and those who later experience and interpret the work are also exploring themselves in feeling and contemplating how the work affects them.

    The physical aspect of swinging is really a kind of high energy ‘outside the norm’ (from a societal programming standpoint anyway) exploration, and in also pondering and writing about your thoughts and experiences you are able to more thoroughly explore and understand the other inner aspects as well. And understanding and being in touch with those other aspects is really key in our situation(s).

  7.  

    Poseidon –

    So do you think swinging is a physical manifestation of an inner exploration?

    Or does the physical outer expression result in further introspection than one would have if they weren’t active in the lifestyle?

  8.  

    I have really enjoyed reading your posts. You inspired me to make my first attempt at blogging. Visit me and my wife at HeSaidSheSaid.freeswingersblog.com. Cheers!

  9.  

    I would say yes on both. I don’t think either of those things occur exclusively for the reasons you mentioned, but those reasons are definitely major components.

    I think the physical aspect has its roots in a lot of areas.. I believe that at the most basic levels we are evolutionarily hard wired to seek out diversity in sexual partners from time to time, simply as a way to ‘broaden the breeding stock’ if you will, and give our collective offspring the most possible chances of thriving. In doing this, we also get to experience the thrill and excitement of new and different mates, in connecting with another person in a very fundamental and intense way. (Well, hopefully intense anyway.. 🙂 ). In doing this, we not only get to explore and learn in the physical sense with different partners, but also (if we choose) in the inner sense as well, in pondering how those interactions and experiences affect and evolve us.

    Being active in the lifestyle brings us experiences to contemplate and the perspective to reflect on how those experiences have actually affected us. Not to say that some of those who have never stepped outside the box of conventional monogamy don’t do a lot of thinking about how they might be affected by those experiences, but actually participating can definitely give those of us who do a broader range of things to reflect on.

  10.  

    I know I’m far behind in all your posts (obviously…four years later and here I am). However, this world is so new to me and I have found your blog incredibly informational. THANK YOU!

  11.  

    well very interesting m evoling bf just ask m to find a playmate he wants a 3 somes omg whats next1

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