I have been giving a ton of thought to this blog and where it’s going. My husband and I went out for an appetizer last night and I was questioning the purpose of this site/blog. Certainly, the stories can be fun and titillating, but isn’t there a deeper purpose? Does there need to be?
I have a strong belief that art of any kind exists to share human experience. Blogging is an art and should exist for more than just the vanity of the artist/blogger. What I am trying to avoid is the blog that says: “Here is my life. You should be interested.” If I don’t have anything to say, then I really have no business blogging. So what is it I’m trying to say? Why do I feel compelled to write, blog, share? What is it that is inside me trying to get out?
In an attempt to tease this out a bit, I began asking my husband questions while we were eating our chips and salsa. I think I actually freaked him out a bit. It seemed like he had no idea why I was asking him all these questions to which he had no answers. And when he tried to answer, I just quickly added another question, probing deeper and deeper looking for the answer that would strike a nerve with me.
Why are we swingers? Because it can be fun. Why am I blogging about swinging? So people can read about our swinging. Why should they read about it? So they know that normal people can be swingers. Why do they need to know that? Ummm…..What do I have to offer people? Why should they read? Because we have a happy marriage and that’s sometimes rare. Is our marriage happy because we swing? No. Are we swingers because we have a happy marriage? Maybe. What if we stop swinging? We’ll still be happy. Then what happens to the blog? Do I have insight on sex outside of swinging? Yes.
And boom! It hit me. I found what it is about this blog that inspires me. I want to open sexuality up for people. Our sexuality is something we are all born with and all die with. It is lasting and unique and individual. Every single person has a sexual self. Some have sex with one other person. Some have sex with lots of other people. Some only have sex with themselves. Even those who are celibate, whether by choice or circumstance, have a sexual experience that is partly defined by the absence of sexual activity. There are countless expressions of human sexuality. It is so beyond male vs. female and monogamy vs. non monogamy. I want this blog to be a space where sexuality is opened up for exploration, conversation, introspection. Currently, my sexual experience happens to include swinging within the realm of a very happy, long term marriage, but it hasn’t always been expressed this way and it may not always be. Who knows? But I don’t want this blog to stop when/if my husband and I ever stop swinging. My sexuality is an intensely dynamic part of my existence. I have always been very aware of the electricity which exists in the space between and among the genders. I want to explore how sexuality informs human existence across time and space.
And that, my dear readers, is what I strive to do here. You with me??