Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Apr 042012

What’s your number?  Not your phone number, but how many sexual partners have you had?  I’ve always been a list maker.  In high school, I had a KISS LIST and when I would come home from dates or non-dates, I would update my list with any kissing that occurred.  I numbered the list so that if I had a repeat, he kept the same number.  I also didn’t update the list with consecutive “kissing”, like with a regular boyfriend, only if there was a guy in between.  For example, my kissing list might look like this:

1) Joe

2) Charlie

3) Rob

4) Randy

2) Charlie

4) Randy

5) Jeff


When I met my husband, we were both young and impulsive, and I threw my list away.  I remember exactly the number of boys on the list, but I highly doubt I could remember all the names now.   I am sad about having lost that little piece of history!

I created a similar list when my husband and I started the Lifestyle.  This version was a spreadsheet which had a column for me and a column for hubby.  It included the date, person’s real name and their screen-name.  When my old laptop died, I lost the list and haven’t started a new one.  A few nights ago in the car on the way to a vanilla birthday party, we decided to count up our numbers.   It was actually quite comical.  We would both be completely convinced that we had remembered everyone, then suddenly, one of us would go, “oops, I just remembered another one.”  I even texted hubby one or two days later to add 2 more to the list that I had forgotten.  I wrote the names on a post-it in my purse and no new “memories” have popped up, so I think I have them all listed now.

One of the most common questions people have is about numbers and frequency.  I do think it would be fun to create a permanent record on this blog of our playdates.  We wouldn’t use real names, obviously!  It would certainly satisfy the curiosity of how often swingers actually play.  The reality is: sometimes we play 3 times in 2 days and sometimes we don’t play for 8-9 months or longer.  We are very fluid in this and when we want to take breaks, we do.   The only problem I have is that I might decide to share this blog someday with one or some of our real-life friends, and I’m not sure I need our exact schedule/numbers in black and white like that.

Do you keep track of your playmates/playdates?  If so, how?  List, spreadsheet, journal?

Image Credit: Anya Uribe / Deviant Art – Used by Permission

  8 Responses to “Number and Frequency – Do You Keep Track?”

Comments (8)

    That’s a great idea. My wife and I are just starting out in the LS and we are eager to get started. You’ve given us a great idea on how we should go about recording our experiences. Thanks!


    J & J ….
    Good luck with your new endeavor! Have fun. 🙂


    Thanks! Pretty soon you can say, “There is an app for that!”



    It’s funny, I just created a spreadsheet the other day for this same purpose, and I was embarrassed that I did it. I’m glad I’m not the only one who does this! LOL

    What I discovered is that my wife has been with a lot more guys in the lifestyle than I have been with women. Not that it was much of a shocking discovery.


    Him: We keep a word document tracking who we have been with and each person’s contact information. I’ve been with 80 women and my girlfriend has been 55. All but me for my girlfriend has been through the lifestyle. We do not count oral only in those numbers. For frequency, it depends, but probably one to three times a month. There is very rarely a month that goes by where we haven’t played with someone new. We also blog about our experiences, but change the names of those we played with.


    I got a cuckle at the fact that you were remembering names a few days later. My husband and I were having the same conversation last night. Random encounters just started poping into our heads. The “remember that couple” conversation always brings up some good conversations for us. We don’t have any real way of keeping track. Maybe we don’t like the paper trail 😉


    Swing Wife – I keep wondering what’s going to happen when the paper falls out of my purse with a list of men’s names on one side and women’s on the other. How am I going to explain that??


    We *started* keeping a list – a short diary of all the couples or singles we met, with names, descriptions, phone numbers, dates. That lasted about a month. And what do you do about random hook-ups at clubs, hotel takevoers, parties? We should’ve just added “John Doe” or “Jane Doe”… :). We do have a rough number in our heads (How come Suzy’s number is nearly twice mine?) but to directly answer the question – only a rough list of some that were really, really, fun :).

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