Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

WHY?

 

I’m still working on figuring out the purpose of this blog, but the excerpt below from this post sums up pretty well the mission and purpose of this blog as I currently understand it.

***I want to open sexuality up for people.  Our sexuality is something we are all born with and all die with.  It is lasting and unique and individual.  Every single person has a sexual self.  Some have sex with one other person.  Some have sex with lots of other people.  Some only have sex with themselves.  Even those who are celibate, whether by choice or circumstance, have a sexual experience that is partly defined by the absence of sexual activity.  There are countless expressions of human sexuality.  It is so beyond male vs. female and monogamy vs. non monogamy.  I want this blog to be a space where sexuality is opened up for exploration, conversation, introspection.  Currently, my sexual experience happens to include swinging within the realm of a very happy, long term marriage, but it hasn’t always been expressed this way and it may not always be.   Who knows?  But I don’t want this blog to stop when/if my husband and I ever stop swinging. My sexuality is an intensely dynamic part of my existence.  I have always been very aware of the electricity which exists in the space between and among the genders.  I want to explore how sexuality informs human existence across time and space.

And that, my dear readers, is what I strive to do here.  You with me??

  8 Responses to “WHY?”

Comments (8)
  1.  

    A couple of things that frame my belief system: a) Jesus wasn’t a Christian; he was devoutly Jewish, and that seems to escape most of his followers. b) Christianity became the mainstream accepted religion of Rome when Constantine needed soldiers to fight off an invasion. Then he codified and politicized the believers parallel to Roman laws. c) While Mormons (claiming the faith of Jesus) seem to change their constructs of marriage depending on the political climate, the most striking conclusion about their use of polygamy has been to repress women. d) One possible reason polyamory has not been more widespread is life expectancy. Until recently, most people who achieved the age of 40 had already outlived at least one spouse. A walk through old cemeteries can support that as you try to read eroded headstone dates.The subcontinent of India offers one of the more consistent social constructs for polyamory when we encounter the Kama Sutra, or read the exploits of Krishna. (Such heathens! ?)My personal convictions lead me to believe that polyamory is strongly associated with healthy long-term relationships and support systems. While there are many stories of the communes that espoused free love through the sixties, the social relationships of those experiments were fraught with difficulties which caused the communes to basically implode on themselves.At least they didn’t pass around Kool-Aid.

  2.  

    This comment came in with a bunch of strangely spammy comments overnight from random Facebook accounts. I have no idea how this happened, but some of them actually have some interesting thoughts, so I’m trying to sort through them. I thought the one here has some interesting thoughts about how monogamy is a social construct that isn’t necessarily the only one ideal. If sex and love are good things for us to connect physically and soulfully with our fellow human beings, why on Earth would we reserve that for only one person? I would like to study the Kama Sutra in much more detail!

    •  

      The Kama Sutra is a book of expression. The Upanishads are the books you may want to dive into. They teach about connection with the soul with the body and how they wrestle for control. Specifically, study the purpose of the Chakras and the Tantra. There’s a deeper meaning to what we do; we are the healer/givers of this world.

      •  

        They shouldn’t. I bet that being pressured toward polyamory will become an increasing problem in the future because right now, practically everyone in the world throws up their hands and says you’re insane if you even talk about trying it, which means you have to be pretty damn motivated and self-confident to go against this cultural wisdom. As poly becomes widely known as potentially workable, there will be less of this automatic screening against people who are not really motivated and committed. Moreover, unwilling people will be more subject to pressure when they can’t fall back on the That’s just crazy and everyone knows it!! defense. So I think it’s really important that warnings and advice like yours stay front and center.The real solution will be for people to think up front about whether they want polyamory or exclusivity, and ask for it, when deciding whether to get into a serious relationship with someone. Like the do you want children? question for people who really do or don’t want children. Right now monogamy is as much the unspoken assumption as marrying and having children was to people starting a romance in our grandparents’ time (our grandmothers anyway; often the grandfathers had other plans they kept unspoken).

  3.  

    I agree with the above about the religious belief on marriage and what history has shown. Even the great heros and the beloved of God had multiple wives. King David had four wives and many concubines (unmarried sex partners). Abraham had two wives, and so did a host of others. So I don’t understand why the Christian world is so uptight about sex. I have to admit though that my Christian faith kept me from being sexually fulfilled until later in my life. I’m still a very spiritual person but have no guilt associated with my sexual activities with other men. As long as my husband and I are in total agreement with our activities, it is of no concern for anyone.

    Natalie

  4.  

    Sabrina,
    I subscribe to your blog. I love everything you say! I am a kink-aware lifestyle-knowledgeable therapist in Seattle. Lifestyle-knowledgeable refers to my active status in the swinging lifestyle. Like you, I adore my primary partner. Absolutely committed to each other, we’ve expanded our sexuality and experiences within the last two years. I, too, write a blog. It is my mental health blog, but I welcome all readers and comments. I began a private practice for the alternative lifestyles community since December 2012 (New Connections Counseling). I’m slowing building and marketing myself. I would love to contact you personally and perhaps trade blogs sometime in the future. Best Regards, and keep up the good work!!

  5.  

    Mandy,

    Thank you so much for the sweet compliment. I so appreciate that you stopped by and said hello. I can’t stress how important I think it is for people to seek out professional help for themselves and their relationships when needed. This blog is a fun resource, but I can’t and don’t claim to provide professional advice, just sharing my personal experiences and lessons learned.

    I’ll definitely check out your blog and website, and would love to chat personally with you anytime. Please feel free to send me an email at sabrinaswings@gmail.com

  6.  

    Hi Sabrina,

    Please could you send me an email. I absolutely love your articles and would love to use them on our website.

    Thanks so much

    Alexandra
    SugrnSpice

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