I have heard rumor that some swinging couples don’t “kiss” the other couple when they swing. It seems that kissing is too intimate or romantic or something. Personally I have NEVER yet met a couple that won’t kiss. I think it’s absolutely crazy! My first reaction is that these non-kissing swingers have likely watched the movie Pretty Woman one too many times. In case you don’t know, Pretty Woman is a movie about a prostitute (Julia Roberts) working in Hollywood. She and her hooker friend Kit have a rule that they DO NOT kiss their Johns. Julia’s character gets picked up one night by Richard Gere who wants to pay her to be “his” for the entire week. It makes prostitution look all glamourous and sexy and lucrative. Anyway, eventually they fall in love and blah, blah, blah!
It’s not that I don’t understand the argument that kissing is too intimate. I agree that kissing is probably way more intimate than actually fucking someone. Sex doesn’t have to be intimate. In fact it can be very impersonal. Mouth kissing on the other hand is something that demands or perhaps creates some intimacy between partners. So I agree with those who claim that kissing is more intimate than fucking.
However, I like that feeling of intimacy. Certainly I am not in the lifestyle to find a new life partner, but I’m also not looking for random, nameless, faceless sex. I want a connection with my playmate that lasts at least as long as the encounter and preferably longer. Kissing is one of the things that makes me WANT to have sex with you. The right kiss can create an intense desire to take things to the next level. Interestingly, it’s also a way that swingers often say “hello” and “goodbye” and “wow, you’re looking nice tonight.” For many of the people I meet, kissing may be all that we do; it’s never going beyond that.
This topic is on my mind because we went to a swingers party on Saturday night. In our state, on-premise sex clubs are pretty much illegal, so we have social events/dances where we meet, dress sexy, flirt, kiss, and dance. Folks typically then leave the party to play in their hotels. Saturday night’s event was held in a hotel ballroom and there were probably between one and two hundred people there. I was feeling way under the weather, as in I probably shouldn’t have even been there. But I went anyway and just told people I wasn’t kissing that night in order to help avoid spreading my germs all over the place.
It was a little awkward to experience being a non-kisser for the night. I felt out of place and unconnected to people. I felt less sexy and less flirtatious. I realized how much I enjoy kissing and how happy I am that we are a couple who DOES kiss! Kissing is where it all starts for me.
One guy risked his health and kissed me full on anyway. While he was kissing, he pulled my hair nice and hard. SWOON! Oh my gosh, I REALLY like that! Then he told me that he that he was really wanting to fuck me that night. The two of us have been at some of the same house parties, but we haven’t actually had sex yet. I told him next time for sure! Anticipation is an awesome thing!
Artwork by Anya Uribe on Deviant Art / Used by Permission