Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Jan 082012

There is a lot of bi-sexual female energy in the Lifestyle.  It seems there is some type of girl-on-girl action to be found at pretty much any Lifestyle get-together.  The majority of couples’ profiles online list the wife as bi-sexual.  Some add further clarification, identifying themselves as bi-curious, others might prefer to call themselves bi-comfortable. I’ve even heard bi-selfish and bi-situational??  On swinger sites like Lifestyle Lounge and Kasidie.com, you can find discussion forums filled with threads trying to decipher the various degrees to which a woman might express her bi-sexuality.  I’m not a big fan of labels.  Just play with who you want, when you want, and how you want.  Why does it matter what its called?  Then again, I suppose labels are helpful for figuring out which couples are a good match for how you like to play.  Which is precisely why our online profiles have always listed me as straight.

I remember liking boys from a very young age.  When I am in a room full of people, I am drawn to the men. I want to stand close to them, I want to touch them, I want to smell them.  When I meet one that I find attractive, I want to do lots of other things with him! 😉 Even in my vanilla life, I tend to gravitate toward men.  Maybe I’m just more comfortable around men because I have a lot of them in my life?  I have been perfectly content to limit my lifestyle play to men.

I’ve noticed a slight shift in my mindset recently.  At least two times in the last week, I’ve told my husband that I might be going bi-something.  This is a shocking turn of events!  I’ve met some beautiful women in this lifestyle.  I’ve admired their bodies, I’ve even playfully cupped their soft, voluptuous breasts, but I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to passionately kiss another woman.  No matter how much my husband has expressed his full support of me going bi, I haven’t felt the desire.

At the pre-NYE party we attended, I met a sexy woman in the ladies’ room.  I had already spent some time admiring her from afar via her and her husband’s online profile.  I introduced myself and expressed how pretty I thought she was.   When I left the restroom, I told my husband that he should fuck her.  Well, guess what?  He doesn’t think he’s that into her.  I just can’t comprehend it.  I think she is gorgeous and sexy as hell.  When I was trying to explain this to my husband, I realized something.  I think I’ve been trying to get my husband to fuck the women that I actually want to play with myself!?

I don’t want to do anything crazy with her, but a nice soft kiss on the lips along with feeling her soft body next to mine might be nice.   Could I possibly be opening up to the possibilities of some female playtime?  Perhaps, or maybe it’s just time for a little experimentation.  We went to a small get-together last night in St. Paul.  There was an incredibly cute girl there with dark hair and a playful attitude.  She had asked me for some help with her hair, and I found myself intrigued by her.  I didn’t act on this intrigue, but there was the tiniest bit of electricity tempting me to let my touch linger as I adjusted her tube top.

I know some men feel somewhat left out by all the bi-sexual play between women in this lifestyle.  My husband has never expressed a fear of being left out.  He loves to see two women kissing passionately or playfully sucking each others nipples. Of course, he and I are both big time voyeurs, so that helps.  Plus he’s never really had to share his playmates with me.  We are pretty much either straight swap or separate dates altogether.  Even with this new turn of events, he probably still won’t have to share.  It seems we have slightly different taste in women anyway.


Sabrina says: Stay tuned!  Who knows if I will act on these feelings or if they will remain in the realm of fantasy?

  3 Responses to “Female Sexuality in the Lifestyle — Are there any straight females?”

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    Good topic! I think there are definatley straight women left in the lifestyle. Actually I think some of the girls who list themselves as bi really are not. I accepted that I was bi through swinging, it allowed me to realize and act on feelings that I had been having for years and did not fully understand. My husband has certinatly enjoyed this revelation! I talk about it a bit here: http://theswingwife.com/index.php/better-late-then-never/


      I think it’s so wonderful that women are able to explore bi-sexuality through the lifestyle with the support of their husbands! I wish the same could be said for men who want to explore their own bi-sexual curiosity. There is still a stigma around male bi-sexuality in the lifestyle, but I think that might be slowly changing.

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