Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Confidence in your Swinging Skin

 Posted by on 23 August 2015
Aug 232015

Feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin is such an important aspect of being in the swinging lifestyle.  Mingling and flirting with other couples, dressing in sexy outfits, and getting naked with friends and strangers can take a lot of emotional stamina when it comes to body image.

For me, body image can be a bit of a roller coaster ride.  One morning I’ll wake up and all I see is cellulite and saggy skin.  The next day, I look in the mirror and see sexy curves and soft smooth skin.  My mind plays tricks on me.   Swingers come in every size and shape.  Some have seemingly perfect beach-ready bodies while others are contentedly obese and embrace their size.

I can oftentimes get trapped into comparing myself to everyone else in the room.   How do I rank?  Who is prettier than me, who is skinnier than me, who has better curves than me, whose hair is silkier than mine?   This mental obsession is not fun or sexy.

Over and over, men tell me that confidence is what makes a woman sexy.  Confidence in ourselves physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.   I’ve had the most fun at events where my confidence was rocking.

Confidence isn’t built overnight and you can’t just will it into existence.  But over time, little actions can consistently build confidence in your body and yourself.  Here are a few self-care tricks to support confidence.

1) Only wear outfits that make you feel absolutely sexy, beautiful and confident.  This might mean shopping takes longer.  Wearing something you already own is almost always better than settling for something new that you don’t feel comfortable in.

2) Spend extra time primping before you go out.  Build anticipation for the night by taking some extended time to attend to all the little details.

3) Decide that you are going to the event with an intention to meet others and learn about them. This takes the focus off yourself.  Other people are nervous and self-conscious as well.  Think about how relieved they will feel when someone (you) goes out of their way to say hello.

4) Keep a stash of your favorite beauty supplies at home and use them often.  Personally I love using sugar scrubs in the shower.  My skin feels so soft when I step out.   When I use aromatherapy massage oils, I take extra time to really massage my body the way a lover would.

5) Smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what a beautiful, sexy, wonderful person you are.  Yes, say that out loud.  Everyone is beautiful and wonderful in their own way.  You are a gift to the world.  Knowing that and sharing it with others is sexy!!

6) Take care of yourself daily.  Eat food that is nourishing and delicious.  Drink plenty of water.  Move your body in a way that feels good and makes you happy.  I’m not talking about diet and exercise.  I’m talking about embracing life a little bit every day.

How has swinging impacted your confidence?  What tricks do you have for a positive body image?  Leave a comment below!

  7 Responses to “Confidence in your Swinging Skin”

Comments (7)

    Love your tips


    You couldn’t be more right about confidence in the lifestyle. Nothing is sexier than a woman with confidence. She can be short, tall, thin, obese, young, old but if she glides into the room with a smile and friendly handshake or hug, that’s all everyone seems to see. I work very hard in the gym and physical fitness is a huge part of my life. Getting into shape has given me huge amounts of confidence, but I am far from immune to comparing myself to every other female. I’ve gotten better, but we all know how women size each other up. I compete in bodybuilding events and I always find it humorous when competitors say, “I’m only competing against myself. I don’t look at anyone else on stage.” What a bunch of bull. We all KNOW we are all up there sizing each other up and placing ourselves long before the judges see us. That’s one of the reasons I took some time off from the sport. I was way too hard on myself. I’ll compete again when I’m ready, but I’m glad I took a break. Everyone has their flaws and weaknesses and everyone has their strengths. Smile and be yourself. Your tip about going up to people and talking about THEM is essential. Thanks for the tips and happy swinging with confidence!


    Sorry i’m going to be that guy. I’ve been reading your blog for five years now and I very much love it. You’ve given me so much keen insight into the world of swinging. I’m very curious if you would ever post any pics of yourself, maybe not face pics for obvious reasons but, maybe those DDD tits you’ve made me fantasize over the years might be just due 😉


    Wow. Just the article I needed to stumble across. I’m going thru a really tough time with body image right now.

    I have gained weight over the last year due to a health condition and it has REALLY affected how I feel about swinging. When I was thinner, I was much more outgoing, felt sexier and had a much stronger libido.

    Now, at 30 pounds heavier, things are VERY different. My libido is in the toilet. I’m too embarrassed of my body to even consider meeting people. Hubby and I were approached by a GORGEOUS young man to meet up for an MFM. I told him “thanks, but no thanks” because I am too embarrassed and don’t want to see “the look” on his face when we meet.

    I’m working on losing the weight (again), but the health condition is making it overwhelmingly tough.

    Surprisingly, hubby and I are hotel party hosts so we’re really involved in the lifestyle community where we live. I enjoy planning and hosting the parties, but now instead of actually PLAYING at our parties, I stay clothed all night and (pretend to) busy myself refilling ice buckets, fruit trays and condom bowls.


    Almost a year since you’ve posted. Why so silent suddenly?


    Why So quiet? Have you quit blogging? I hope not!


    Where have you been? Its lonely here now.

 Leave a Reply