Welcome to SabrinaSwings!

I am a happily married swinger in suburban Minneapolis. My husband and I have been married for 20+ years and exploring various aspects of consensual non-monogamy since the beginning. Sabrina Swings is the place where I share our experiences. The blog is part true erotic swinging stories, but mostly philosophical discussions of some of the lifestyle's most common questions. How do I get into swinging? How do I talk my spouse into swinging? How do I know if I should swing? Do swingers get jealous? How often do swingers have sex? Where can I find a swinging playmate? Hope you enjoy!

Aug 072015

This is the fourth post in my blog series on the Benefits of Swinging.  If you’ve missed the first three posts, you can click on the link here: Benefits of Swinging.

Swinging Benefit #4:  Opens Lines of Communication:

Learning how to communicate is one of the most important aspects of building and maintaining healthy happy relationships.  You may be surprised to know that I credit our open swinging relationship with greatly improving the communication I have with my husband.

We have been married for over 20 years.  Our relationship has ebbed and flowed throughout that time.  We’ve had periods of monogamy, early and recent explorations with threesomes, swinging together, and playing separately.  Within the last 5 years or so, we’ve become even more open to poly relationships outside our marriage.

As you can imagine, we’ve had a lot of opportunity to communicate.  We don’t always see eye to eye on our participation level.  In fact, at times we have very differing opinions on the lifestyle.  That can be challenging.  Sometimes it feels as though I am constantly struggling for more freedom, while he constantly tries to reign me in.

What I’ve learned is this:  Swinging places a microscope on your relationship.  It can greatly enhance the best parts of your marriage.  It also brings to light any underlying issues that linger, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant.  Working through issues that arise isn’t always easy or pleasant.  But I truly believe that when you make that commitment, you can come out the other side in a much better place.

We certainly haven’t been perfect at this.  I can recall many times that I’ve pouted on the way home from a party when I didn’t get my way.  In my experience, learning to talk openly and honestly about my expectations, feelings, and disappointments in swinging opens me up to a whole new level of intimacy.

The best part is that the improved communication skills transfer to all my relationships.  Sexual and non-sexual.

Here are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned:

  • Ask open ended questions.
  • Take a pause rather than reacting to everything instantaneously.
  • Be an open book about all my outside interactions; telling even a little while lie is harmful.
  • Seek to understand the other person’s point of view without becoming defensive.
  • Consider that the other person has my best interest at heart.
  • Question the reason I want something in particular; when I know it makes my partner uncomfortable.

Next in the series:  Benefit #5 – Increases self knowledge.  You can start at the beginning by clicking here:  Benefits of Swinging.

How has swinging opened your lines of communication?  What have you learned about yourself?  What other benefits have you experienced?  Leave a comment below!


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